Covered with Shame

If I could only shrink myself at this very moment, I should be in vain.
If I could only let myself vanish from this improbable life, I should be gone with emptiness.
If I could only lecture this forsaken mind, I should be rummaging all thoughts.
If I could only underpin my moment of reflection, I should be absurdly tear-jerking.
If I could only kill my entity, I should be dripping in distress.

If I could do all these things in one time, I should be hailed by you.